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SCOTLAND DIES LAUGHING |
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TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.

Most would have been dead within minutes
The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.
Small
groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured
north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people
gathered around still blaring television sets.
By dawn, as RAF
helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the
whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.
Wayne
Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one
house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge
smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed
to be at peace."
He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found
a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants
round his knees.
"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."
Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.
"He
was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25
minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything
suddenly went very quiet."
Moving tributes are already being
placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to
leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.