Clouds across the Toon  

From the "if you don't read it on here, it'll only be somewhere else" department:

An NUFC club spokesman has refused to comment on claims that the source of the dust cloud covering parts of Europe was in fact St.James' Park and not Iceland as previously thought.

Cleaners preparing the trophy cabinet for the expected arrival of the Championship trophy on Tyneside next week have been blamed for the release of ancient material.