When, exactly, did Real Madrid become known as the Régime Team? Nobody knows for sure. It wasn't long after General Franco finally seized control of all Spain in 1939 that the despot slipped into a minor funk when Sevilla beat his hometown side Racing Ferrol in that year's cup final. It's also on record that he'd helped out Athletic de Madrid immediately after the civil war, merging them with the airforce team, renaming them Athletic Aviación (and later the more Spanish-friendly Atlético Aviación), then forcing the best young players into military service so they could turn out for this new fighting-fit side.

Still, he wasn't obsessed with one side in particular, more with simply keeping down anyone with an independent thought in their head. Like the Catalans, for example. And when Barcelona found themselves 3-0 up after their home leg of their 1943 Spanish Cup semi-final, despite being kicked all around their Las Corts stadium by opponents Real Madrid, something had to be done.

Franco's régime got to work. First they ensured the atmosphere in the return leg at Real's Chamartin stadium would be super-oppressive. The crowd at Las Corts had, oh so outrageously, supported their own team, ran an ostensibly serious argument published ahead of the match in Madrid-based newspaper Ya. These Las Corts hoodlums had "whistled at the Madrid players with the clear intention of attacking the representatives of Spain". My. In turn, Madrid's crowd were encouraged to reciprocate – and to this end were given free whistles upon entrance to the ground, a tasty atmosphere guaranteed.

Then on the day of the match, to make sure Barça's players got the centralist message, Spain's director of state security visited their dressing room just before kick-off. Packing a loaded gun – though some Madridistas question the packed piece – he quietly reminded the visitors that "you are only playing because of the generosity of the regime that has forgiven you for your lack of patriotism". A singular inspirational team talk having been delivered, the following kickabout was only ever going to end one way. Real scored early, then made it two on the half-hour, whereupon Barça, fearing lethal consequences, properly capitulated; it was 8-0 to Madrid by half-time. The second half was a relative non-event, the game ending 11-1.

Still, much good it did Real. They lost the final 1-0 to the Basques of Atletico Bilbao, much to Franco's displeasure, while nobody except the most myopic Madridista takes their record win over Barcelona seriously these days. The most embarrassing scoreline in the history of El Clásico? Perhaps, but only for Real. Though that's only if we're not counting that risible 6-2 defeat at the Bernabéu last year.