Pročitao sam jedan vrlo zanimljiv tekst i od srca se nasmijao... (moje mišljenje o Wilcoxu je ipak malo bolje iako nemogu reći da se sa dosta stvari ne slažem)
Have you ever seen the movie “Encino Man”? The one where Pauly Shore and Sean Astin (who is the Hollywood genius that greenlit this duo?) discover Brendan Fraser (ugh ... it only gets worse) in a frozen block beneath their pool. Basically, Fraser awakens from a
50-thousand-year slumber and is completely out of touch (obviously) with our modern reality.
That’s basically how I feel now.
In what universe is Chris Wilcox worth nearly 7 million dollars a year?
(Note: If you don’t know who Chris Wilcox is, do a Google search with the keyword “sucks.” If nothing comes up, add the word “really” a few times.)
If you still aren’t sure about Wilcox, let me clue you in. He’s a middling big man with occasionally cool hair who misses, on average, 20 games a year. That’s the good news.
He holds career averages of just under seven and a half points, 4.3 rebounds and no joke, 0.3 blocks per game. Just to rub it in, Cuttino Mobley, a swing guard with a half a foot height disadvantage, averaged 0.4 blocks!
I wish I could say I’m done ragging on Wilcox, but it gets worse. He has 162 assists to his name.
What’s that you say? 162 isn’t so bad? That’s two a game, right?
Right.
Except that is his career total. Steve Nash had that many assists in March. Wilcox successfully passes the ball about as often as Mel Gibson attends synagogue.
So when it was time to re-up this summer, Wilcox and his agent presented their demand to the Sonics. SIXTY TWO MILLION BUCKS! And yet, the Sonics while obviously stunned, actually came back with an offer of $40 mil. (At this point, Sonics GM Rick Sund should have been fired on the spot. Is it possible he was once a Tinseltown exec and that he greenlit “Encino Man”? Food for thought.)
Wilcox was insulted and cut off all communication with the team. And surprisingly, his agent was on board. They hemmed and hawed for a few weeks and somehow settled on a three-year deal worth just shy of $20 million. There are, however, incentives that can increase the contract to $24 million if Wilcox is either an All-Star, makes the all-NBA team or averages 10 boards a game. This clause is known in the contract as “money Chris will never ever see.” (At least the Sonics have a sense of humor.)
I e-mailed Wilcox’s agent, Jeff Fried, to get his take on the matter and here was his response:
Chris has the potential to become the next Karl Malone. He is as strong as any player to come into the league since Bill Russell. He possesses a wicked first step, can not only play with his back to the bucket, but can create his own makes and is a born leader. Mark my words, Springfield will come calling.
Five minutes later I received this response:
Sorry. I thought you were asking about Chris Webber. And I thought this was 1999. I have no idea who Chris Wilcox is. All I know is that he’s tall. And he can’t pass (or score or block or set a pick or play defense). I bet my brother I could get him at least $15 mil.
Suffice to say, Chris Wilcox, a career space filler who has never come close to living up to his potential, is making more money than even the great Bob Cousy will make in his lifetime. Sonics fans must be overjoyed. Actually, the sooner Wilcox is Oklahoma City’s problem, the better.
One the plus side, Wilcox is a rather centered and easy going guy. He had this to say about his contract stalemate and eventual signing:
“There is always going to be somebody who is hating on you. They hated on Jesus, so I can’t say they won’t hate on me.”
(I swear on Britney’s new baby that this quote is legit).
The GMs of the league have officially gone crazy and there is no turning back. The good news for NBA fans is, no matter how poorly your team did this off-season, you can always remind yourself, “At least we didn’t sign Chris Wilcox.”
Of course, next year someone may give $30 mil to Ousmane Cisse and then I’m moving to Pakistan and learning the rules of cricket.