surly, you could have sworn his headphones were replaying either Wayne Rooney’s comments about how his head “sometimes isn’t quite there” or Nemanja Vidic’s reflections on how one minute he’s the ultimate strongman and the next tumbles like a 20kg weakling.

Here were the sort of barbs to infuriate a man who harbours a completely different
image of his own fair play to that which the rest of football sees.

“I’m a footballer, not a swimmer . . . I get the feeling that people take me for a cheat,” he said indignantly in his interview.

Stop that chuckling at the back. Vidic knows why Drogba mixes the charlatan with the champion.

It’s about never letting any defence have a moment’s peace or a single idea of what he’ll try next.