2 The winning goal may make you the toast of Zagreb, but you can kiss that lucrative Premier League deal with Middlesbrough goodbye.

3 Top the group and you could well join the list of seeds - thus ruling out guaranteed Euro 2008 group-stage wins over Austria or Switzerland.

4 Defeat may cost Steve McClaren his job, thus denying his tactical innovation and boisterous pre-match routines a wider audience.

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5 A highly-motivated English side hellbent on avenging the nation's defeat (Bolton, perhaps) could face Dinamo Zagreb in the Uefa Cup knock-out stages and scrape a 0-0 draw in the first leg.

6 Loud, angry, sunburned English tourists may boycott the popular resorts of the Adriatic.

7 Bang go Slaven Bilic's hopes of the Birmingham job.

8 Future three-part television dramas such as the BBC's Casanova, filmed partly in Dubrovnik, could be relocated to Kosovo.

9 The Moreska dancers of Korluka - kindred spirits of Morris dancers - may not be as welcome in England's picturesque villages as they were on their 1966 and 1980 visits. gdje su ovo izvukli, ha-ha

10 Goran Ivanisevic would no longer be the darling of the senior tennis events at the Royal Albert Hall.

11 London's top designers - furious at England's defeat - will stay away from Zagreb Fashion Week, thus marginally reducing the event's prestige.

12 Neutral English supporters going to Austria and Switzerland will heartily support your opponents. Unless you're playing Germany. Or Portugal. Or France.

13 Portsmouth's Niko Kranjcar, Manchester City's Verdran Corluka and Arsenal's Eduardo da Silva would feel the fans' ire week after week in the Premier League. They might not mind but it would get very tedious for the rest of us.

14 Aston Villa's fond memories of Bosko Balaban would be irreparably tainted.

15 Applause at Wimbledon for Mario Ancic and Ivo Karlovic would be notably muted, even when they play jolly well and knock up with the ball boys.

16 You won't get any credit - England will have been either a) cheated (World Cup 1986, World Cup 2006, World Cup qualifying 1994), b) unaccountably unlucky (World Cup 1990, Euro 2004, World Cup qualifying 1994), or c) foiled by an individual error (World Cup 1998, World Cup 2002, World Cup qualifying 1994).

17 You'll be denying some exclusive Alpine resort the benefit of 30-odd wags with platinum Amexes and a raging thirst.

18 David Beckham might not get to 100 caps - and nobody wants that.

19 You would condemn the match official to an early retirement after England fans bombard his website with death threats.

20 No major tournament is complete without England's attractive, free- flowing, fast-breaking brand of football and much-loved army of followers.