Vicevi

Obrisan korisnik
Obrisan korisnik
Pristupio: 04.10.2007.
Poruka: 1.837
01. listopada 2008. u 12:32
pričao zagorec svom kumu:
e, moj kume, imam ti ja tri kćeri...
jedna je doktorica i jedva spaja kraj s krajem i morali smo grunt prodati da opstane...
druga je učiteljica i vikendicu smo prodali da preživi... loše, loše...
a treća je prostitutka... nemam ti ja pojma kaj je to, al izgleda da ima posla jer joj i žena pomaže prek vikenda Big%20smile
Obrisan korisnik
Obrisan korisnik
Pristupio: 20.02.2006.
Poruka: 35.530
01. listopada 2008. u 16:37
papirus je napisao/la:
Evo jedan za "dobro jutro"!!
 

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<FONT face=Arial size=2>Pita učiteljica djecu šta im očevi rade. Te jednom otac policajac, drugom službenik, te ovo, te ono.... Perica neće reć. Šta je Perice, zašto nećes kazati šta je tvoj otac? On nije ništa.Kako ništa! Hajde reci što radi tvoj otac!?Pa, moj otac je striper u gay klubu. On pleše i skida se pred drugim muškarcima za novac. Ponekad, kada je drugi muškarac baš zgodan i kada ponudi novac, moj otac ode poslije posla s njim, pa iznajme sobu u jeftinom hotelu. Tada za novac dozvoljava da drugi muškarac ima seks s njim.U učionici muk! Učiteljici neugodno, skrene temu na nešto drugo,  jedva nekako završi sat. Poslije sata pita ona Pericu nasamo da li je moguće da je sve to istina, a on reče:Ma, ne. Otac mi igra nogomet za Hajduk, pa me bilo sram priznat.

<FONT face=Arial size=2> 

LOLLOL
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ovaj vic sam prvi put cuo u verziji dinamo. i to kad su igrali ligu za opstanak... tad je imao puno vise smisla...
Obrisan korisnik
Obrisan korisnik
Pristupio: 17.08.2004.
Poruka: 55.231
01. listopada 2008. u 16:51
a sada nema smisla kada je hajduk pobjedio jednu utamicu za redom i rusi sve pred sobom (s izuzetkom intera iz mil...pardon, zapresica). Wink
Konfuzije
Konfuzije
Većinski vlasnik Foruma
Pristupio: 20.11.2004.
Poruka: 24.143
01. listopada 2008. u 19:25
Evo jedan ingliški, valjda se nitko neće naći izgubljen u prijevodu...

Moms In Group Therapy                                                     

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
Mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions,' he
observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy.'

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up,
took her little boy by the hand and whispered,
'Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about.
Let's go pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.'
Big%20smile
[uredio Konfuzije - 01. listopada 2008. u 19:26]
227398
Obrisan korisnik
Obrisan korisnik
Pristupio: 20.02.2006.
Poruka: 35.530
01. listopada 2008. u 20:53
Obrisan korisnik
Obrisan korisnik
Pristupio: 12.08.2008.
Poruka: 2.404
01. listopada 2008. u 23:46
 
- "Zagi, malo si mi cudan u zadnje vrijeme, sto ti je?"
- "Nije mi nista, tata."
- "Da se nisi zaljubio?"
- "paaa, jesam."
- "U koga?"
- "...Ivana."
- "U ime Bozije sine, pa on je Hajdukovac!"
dr.Damir
dr.Damir
Većinski vlasnik Foruma
Pristupio: 12.06.2006.
Poruka: 20.132
02. listopada 2008. u 00:19
Last week was my birthday. That morning I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday".

I thought Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.. surely they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's so beautiful outside today, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch, but we didn't go where we normally would go. Instead, she chose a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day...We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we ?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind ?"

She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied..

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday"..

And I just sat there...

On the couch..

naked...
sve prolazi sve se mijenja, idu dani idu godine, samo Zrinjski ostaje ponos moje Hercegovine
Obrisan korisnik
Obrisan korisnik
Pristupio: 29.01.2006.
Poruka: 4.454
02. listopada 2008. u 01:47
Marko Marušić je napisao/la:
papirus je napisao/la:
Evo jedan za "dobro jutro"!!
 

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-: HR; mso-fareast-: HR; mso-bidi-: AR-SA">
<FONT face=Arial size=2>Pita učiteljica djecu šta im očevi rade. Te jednom otac policajac, drugom službenik, te ovo, te ono.... Perica neće reć. Šta je Perice, zašto nećes kazati šta je tvoj otac? On nije ništa.Kako ništa! Hajde reci što radi tvoj otac!?Pa, moj otac je striper u gay klubu. On pleše i skida se pred drugim muškarcima za novac. Ponekad, kada je drugi muškarac baš zgodan i kada ponudi novac, moj otac ode poslije posla s njim, pa iznajme sobu u jeftinom hotelu. Tada za novac dozvoljava da drugi muškarac ima seks s njim.U učionici muk! Učiteljici neugodno, skrene temu na nešto drugo,  jedva nekako završi sat. Poslije sata pita ona Pericu nasamo da li je moguće da je sve to istina, a on reče:Ma, ne. Otac mi igra nogomet za Hajduk, pa me bilo sram priznat.

<FONT face=Arial size=2> 

LOLLOL
</SPAN>
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ovaj vic sam prvi put cuo u verziji dinamo. i to kad su igrali ligu za opstanak... tad je imao puno vise smisla...
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taj vic je debilan u bilo kojoj verziji.
Obrisan korisnik
Obrisan korisnik
Pristupio: 16.06.2003.
Poruka: 18.025
02. listopada 2008. u 02:12
Potpis. Predlažem otvaranje teme, "Debilni vicevi".
[uredio NYC - 02. listopada 2008. u 02:13]
Vugi
Vugi
Dokazano ovisan
Pristupio: 14.08.2006.
Poruka: 12.918
02. listopada 2008. u 10:07
Mala mozgalica :

> U autu: dekan, profesor i student.
> Tko vozi?
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pa, policajac naravno!

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