Mujo dobio sina s dvije glave. Pita ga Haso:
- Mujaga, kako ti mali ? - Ko - Zmaj.

Uđe luđak u doktorsku kancelariju i pita ga doktor:-Dobro, a sada mi recite što je vaš problem? -Rekao mi je Bog da sam Napoleon. A iz čekaonice će netko: -Laže! Ništa mu nisam rekao!!

Evo jedan dobar: "This reminds me of a joke. This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this strait. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip. And he-he's pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere *except* the fucking glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his fuckin' ass off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You fucking idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta." Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, 300." And the bartender's like, "What the fuck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!" The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pseGtp0z0F0

kondom- sabirni centar za ízbjeglice iz Jajca.

Ulazi u avion odvjetnik i smještaju ga na sjedalo pored Muje.
Odmjerava on Muju, misli si . . priprosta seljačina, hajde da se malo
zabavi da ubije vrijeme.

Pita on Muju: - Hajde da malo ubijemo vrijeme, pa da igramo neku igru?
Mujo: - Ma, umoran sam . .
Odvjetnik: - Gle . . pitam Te nešto; ako ne znaš platiš mi 5 kuna, a ako ja
ne znam plaćam Tebi 500 kuna!
Mujo gleda: - Aj' dobro!

Pita odvjetnik onako . . da ga ispita: - Kolika je udaljenost od Zemlje do
Mjeseca?
Mujo vadi 5 kuna: - Ne znam.

Odvjetnik: - Pitaj ti mene?
Mujo: - Što ide uzbrdo s tri noge, a nizbrdo sa četiri?
Odvjetnik misli. . otvorio laptop, pa po Googlu, pa nazove neke jarane . .
Nitko ne zna. Prošlo sat vremena, ništa nije našao, pa vadi on novčanicu od
500 kuna i daje ju Muji.

Mujo uzme novce i nastavi spavati.
Ovaj i dalje konta . .
Napokon ne može više izdržati, pa probudi Muju:
- Pa dobro, šta to ide uzbrdo s tri noge, a nizbrdo sa četiri?

Mujo mu da 5 kuna i veli: - Ne znam.

Šta pjeva Ekrem Jevrić kad je prehlađen? - Doktor - House, House - Doktor, Doktor - House, House - Doktor

Koja je razlika izmedu soje i vribratora?? Nema razlike jedno i drugo zamijenjuje meso.

Pobijedili naši košarkaši u neizvjesnoj završnici...

Evo malo da zajebavamo komuniste, ovaj ljevičare:

Zasto na titovom grobu ne raste cvijece?

 Đubre je preduboko.



Došao Bosanac na granicu i pita ga carinik:
- "Imaš li šta prijavit?"
Kaže Bosanac:
- "Imam. Eno na Kupresu pjevaju ustaške!"