bravo za bartoli...definitivno je osvježenje bila za ovaj wimbledon...sutra očekujem od rafe bar da dovuče federera do 5 setova...a mora i on nekad spušit na travi

Early Career

Federer started playing tennis at the age of six^[1]. Rumour has it that when he first picked up his racket the grey clouds blanketing Basle that day with a November gloom were suddenly broken. The tennis courts were lit up by the most brilliant golden sunlight you could ever imagine and all the birds (some say angels) started singing beautiful music. That's probably bollocks though. I bet he hit a double fault.

By the age of fourteen, Federer had learnt to get his serve over the net and he had become Switzerland's top junior (under-18s) player. This would have been a great achievement if all the other Swiss kids weren't focusing on their skiing and clock-making. Anyway, Martina Hingis was Swiss junior champion when she was nine or something. And she's a girl. But of course, you can only beat what's put in front of you, as Federer did. Again and again. Until it got boring. That's when Roger moved on to the main tour. He ended his first year on the tour as the youngest player in the top 100. All the best experts at the time agreed that Federer was pretty ok and might be an alright player some day. How right they were.

The next few years for Roger were marked by moments of brilliance, intermingled with occasions where Federer looked very ordinary indeed. The highlight was when Roger fluked a victory against a past-his-prime Pete Sampras at Wimbledon. Federer then lost to a real champion in Tim Henman at the quarter final stage. Henman lost in the semis.

Becoming The Best

By 2003, Federer had established a reputation as the most talented player to consistently choke on the big stage. Spectacularly so. Then at Wimbledon that year, something amazing happened. He got through the first round. Barely able to believe his luck, Federer almost didn't notice that he was still in the tournament at the end of the second week, having seen the draw open up before him. The Swiss somehow ended up in the final against Mark Philippoussis, where he played the match of his life. Everything he tried came off. Luck really was on his side that July afternoon.

As that final ball hit the net, Federer dropped to his knees and all those years of emotions came out. Collecting the trophy, Federer could hold back no more and he started crying. Like a little girl. Sue Barker battled bravely to get through the on-court interview, but she could do little to hide her contempt for the blubbering wreck that stood before her. Federer lost the respect of a lot of people that day and gained a lot of pity. Let's hope the trophy was worth it.

Emergence of Ralf Nadle

After a strange experiment performed by Dr. Brad "Frankenstein" Gilbert escaped from the lab, Federer's downfall began to loom imminently. Dubbed "Ralf Nadle" by a befuddled Gilbert standing intoxited on tennis ball fuzz before the Ethics board at Faggot's University, the creation, half man, half horse found a tennis racquet and began to wreak havoc.

With tail hair growing out of his skull and extraordinarly tight capris, his style of running exceptionally fast on all fours quickly made him the dominant player on tour. Since his emergence, Federer has taken to self-denial and outright lying claiming that winning the French open does not matter and that Nadle "Is capable of beating me only on clay"

However, the sanctuary of Federer, the pastures of grass at Wimbledon remains his domain. Early attempts by Nadle to nab the title were thwarted by an expulsion from the tournament from grazing on the court. His claims that "Maybe is what horses eat, no?" went largely ignored.

1. ↑ I didn't start until I was eight, so of course he's better than me.