One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.

Jašu na magarcu kroz neki kamenjar Crnogorac i iza njega, žena mu. Ufati ga ona oko pasa, kad napipa nešto tvrdo naprijed, pa ga upita:

"A što ti je oVO, čo'če?"

"A, to mi je liVOR, ženetino!"

"A što će ti livor, čo'če, u ovi kamenjar?"

"Ako naidje koji nikogović, valja mi ga ubiti ka pašče."

Jašu oni tako još nekih sat vremena, kad odjednom iz obližnjeg grma izleti Šiptar. U ruci mu "livor".

"Siljaz sa magare!"

"Ma, što ti je, jado?", pokuša da se izvadi Montos.

"Ma, siljaz sa magare i skidaj gaća!"

"Ajmeeee, čo'če", uzdahnu Crnogorka.

"Nema šta", reče čoek, "moramo dolje".

Sidju oni, skinu gaće i ćiftar prvo naguzi nju pa onda i njega. Odmah potom nestade, ka da ga nikad nije ni bilo.

Crnogorac i "ženetina" ponovo zajahaše magarca.... tišina neprijatna... ne progovaraju ni on ni ona jedno pola sata. Kad, eto ti nje:

"Pa, dobro, čoče!"

"E, što je, ženetino?"

"Pa dje ti je onaj livor? Što ne ubi onog nikogovića?"

"E, glupa ženetino. Upamti - nije livor da se brani pica i guzica no oBRAz časni!"